A Month of Tuesdays

by Amber John

It has been one month today since our happy-go-lucky pup pup O.D. (Officer Davis) was diagnosed with diabetes. One month that seems like a lifetime ago. Before insulin shots and Libre sensors and using green beans as dog treats. Before sleepless nights and endless Google searches, and unexpected vet bills. One month ago, I was blissfully unaware that it was common for dogs to be diabetic and that my life as a dog mom would drastically change forever.

I'm a jumble of emotions and a mess of nerves these days. This is a subject area I am painfully uneducated in, and that unhinges me. See, I am a teacher and a knower of things. It bothers me tremendously that I am out of my league regarding information and knowing how best to take care of my dog. I am a novice at taking care of my blind, diabetic dog, even though his life is in my hands. I can't afford to make a mistake or get it wrong. He can't tell me it hurts or that he's not feeling well. He can't voice his concerns to me. So I have to start from scratch and figure it all out, step by step, phone call by phone call, google search by google search, until I understand and feel more confident.

Twice a day, O.D. has to have insulin. So I've had to learn how to give my dog shots, which initially frightened the daylights out of me. I'm slowly learning how to stop overthinking about it and just give him what is best for him. We have turned it into cuddle time. He eats his bowl of food with his brother Leo; I baby talk to them, telling them what good boys they are and how much I love them. When O.D. is finished eating, he comes and nestles up to me and lays his head on my chest. I rub his scruff, massaging the area gently, finding just the right spot for the little poke and squeeze of medicine. Then we cuddle some more as I tell him what a good boy he is! But really, I am taking his nuzzling me as reassurance of what a good dog mom I am...

I try not to worry. I try not to wonder. I try to live in the moment. I know diabetes is a treatable disease, and it's something we can live with. It's not a death sentence. Sometimes my fears get the better of me, and sometimes I get the better of my fears. Knowing diabetes and cataract blindness are manageable is reassuring, but there is still so much to learn and understand.

This will be quite the journey, and one I know I will gain a footing on step by step. I will keep asking questions, keep making phone calls (to our amazing vet), keep researching, and keep finding solutions. I hope to use this blog as an outlet for my emotions and share my ups and downs as a diabetic dog mom. From green beans to insulin, this has sure been one month of Tuesdays for me!